he wants to bone in the snuggie
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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