I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
