So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
