weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
