someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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