Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
