I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
this beer tastes like vomit already
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
