Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
