I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
