he shaved USA in his pubs
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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