Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think I sprained my soul last night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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