She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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