bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
