32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
