Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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