so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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