I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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