at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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