It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
