I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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