ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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