oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
