haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
