Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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