But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
