I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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