Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
