Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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