I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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