DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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