He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
