I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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