Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
