This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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