Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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