This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
