Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
