you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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