It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
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Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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