For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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