if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
