i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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