i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
