the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
