im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
