No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
