Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
