my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize