I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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