now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
