sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i think i just lost a toe
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
