I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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