are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
