i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
