I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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