shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
