So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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