some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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