I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it's like iHOP with fire
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
