Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
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How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
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I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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