My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
