you would pick up someone in the library
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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