Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
