So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
